Tuesday, October 12, 2010
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This page is to celebrate every moment in life, be it joyous or tearful. I have often lived in the past, clinging to emotions; I have often bothered about the future, reaching out to the unknown. In all this, the present went unnoticed. I still remember the past and dream of the future, but live in the present.
There is a highway just behind the house. Yesterday night I went to sit on the steps by the highway, to see the cars zooming by. Evening it had rained heavily and there was a fresh wind to soothe my senses. It was a strange feeling, sitting on strange steps, in a strange country at 1 in the night. There were couples out for strolls and the loneliness was appealing. The music from the Chinese chimes hanging outside some house added a melody to my loneliness. The sky was cloudless, the city awake and I was searching, like the bumblebee in the story. I have always resisted change, as is in my nature, and fate has been kind enough to put me through so many changes. Against my will, I have seen, experienced and learned things.
There is a community library nearby. It’s a good 15 minutes walk. I have started going there every day after lunch. I can take my laptop and also work from there, though there is no net connection inside the building. It’s big, air-conditioned and generally visited by the elderly and children. You get to read newspapers and books. However, I cannot loan books, as I am not a member. I enjoy the walk, the solitude amidst the books, and the friendly smiles of Malay women, who work in the library. However, what I enjoy most is the routinely un-routine life that I am leading. Nothing is fixed, the time, the work, the sleep, the bath; strange? I will revert back to the system, but for the moment I am enjoying being a vagabond.
Conflicting, but after a long time I am also living a life of checks and balances. Through trials and errors I am trying to reach that point on my MU curve that is most happy and beneficial. Trying to format a lifestyle, which will be healthy and easy, when the children live on their own. The heat scorches, the rain brings respite, after the rains the sultry air suffocates. I miss my side of the bed, I miss my bathroom, I miss my home and the life in it.
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